Why I Needed a Mommy Group
When you're pregnant, you know a baby is going to change your world. You don’t fully know how much until the baby is here. Reality smacked me in the face once the crying baby was placed on my chest but as I got settled at home, I realized that I had no friends with babies. So being a stay at home mom (SAHM), Jayla was my day-to-day. All day, everyday. I needed other people that also had kids and wanted to talk about their babies, so the search began.
I came across a mommy forum on Facebook. Let me tell you, that was not a good idea! I cannot stand a judgey mother! As if everything one person does is always right and AS IF all kids act the same. This FB group was infested with so many judgey mothers. Not the support, comfort, and friends I was looking for. Why couldn’t I find a group infested with that?! I’m glad I didn’t dump Facebook altogether though. One day, a suggested page popped up and it was a mommy group named Mocha Moms of San Fernando Valley (SFV). I clicked on their page and couldn't wait to meet them. I was so excited! They looked like the perfect group for me!
Unfortunately, the first meet up didn't go as planned.
THEY DIDN’T SHOW UP! I was pretty mad because I thought my search was finally over. I reached out again to try and get an understanding of what happened because it was a pre-scheduled meet-up, not a last minute thing. It turns out, the President of the organization had gotten into a car accident (she was okay though) and the meeting had to be canceled. We scheduled another meet up for a better time.
Once I was able to meet them, I felt right at home. My first support group was at the Sherman Oaks Mall with the President, Vice President, and the Treasurer, who was pregnant with twins at the time. They welcomed Jayla and I with open arms. They absolutely loved her! Next, I attended a family day at the Topanga Mall and that was filled with even more mommies and their kids. We not only talked about our kids but about us as women, as black women, as entrepreneurs, as wives, moms, and individuals. I found the mommy group of my dreams! I was convinced, signed up immediately and became a member.
Friends is what I really wanted out of the mommy group and that's what I got.
I have gotten to know some awesome women. As a group, we have events like support group meetings, potlucks, mom's night outs, couple's events, family play dates, seasonal events, adult parties and the list goes on. We also hold fundraisers to raise money for retreats, holding public speaking events and gifts for new members. The group attends one another’s kid’s birthday parties and individual parties and we've built a comfortable friendship where we can text each other just to catch up.
Becoming a new mom brings about many changes. Support you receive from your family is different from what you get from friends. They are both needed in my opinion. Please, do not be afraid to seek the support you need. I am now the President of the Mocha Mom SFV California Chapter and I'm focusing on building healthy friendships for myself and Jayla with awesome moms and their families.
Do you feel like you're not getting the support you need? There's others out there like you, like us! Let me know in the comment section how you feel about mommy groups and if it worked/might work for you.