How to Pay Attention to Your Husband as an Entrepreneur
When you become an entrepreneur and are in relationship, it can be difficult to manage time between the two. I know of this first hand because when Julia and I started the 3 businesses among us, our men were the ones who got the short end of the stick. But, with growth comes change, so today I’m sharing 7 easy ways to pay more attention to your husband as an entrepreneur. This applies to fiances, boyfriends, partners and anyone else who you’re neglecting while trying to your empire...all except for probably one…
In mine and Julia’s 2017 wrap up video, we repeatedly shared just how awful of a wife and fiance we were to our men because we barely gave them the time of day as we built our businesses foundations that year. Between 2 businesses each, school for Julia and a 9-5 for me, keeping these girls alive and tending to domestic responsibilities, our men just weren’t the priority that they admittedly should’ve been.
How did it get to that? Well, because our men are actually great. Both understood what we were/are trying to work for and both are our biggest fans and supporters. Neither of them spoke that our neglect and our lack of attention was problem but as pretty decent adults, we all knew a change was gon’ come.
Speaking on my relationship with Love alone, because of our completely opposite schedules, we would only see each other a few hours a week, making one on one time even more scarce. Our communication and affection dropped too low for our liking.I knew I had to change my ways and stop neglecting him as I built my empire. So with the intent to pay more attention to Love as an entrepreneur, I came up with these tips.
7 Easy Ways to Pay Attention to Your Husband as an Entrepreneur
1. Schedule time in advance.
I am busy. I create various written and visual content across two blogs, manage social media, network online, clean the apartment, do laundry, grocery shop and work full time 5 days a week and I try very hard to keep my clingy and energetic child from wanting to just sit on the couch and watch the TV or tablet (My child does chill and watch TV, I’d just prefer for it to not occur every single day.) Anyways, with batched YouTube recordings, ebook meetings and keeping the home under control, my days and life are booked and scheduled well in advance. There is little room for spontaneity. And while that’s nice in a relationship, life doesn’t always work like that.
Love picked up on this too and now, for any important family get together, or dates just between the two of us, we plan for as early as possible. I put the event on my Google calendar and set the two reminders so I don’t forget about it. This keeps me from scheduling work at that time since it’s clearly reserved for him or the family.
2. Set alarms and reminders.
This one may be weird, but hear me out. If you’re dealing with a lot of things or running on autopilot, it’s easy to tune out a lot. Even your man's needs. Especially if he’s not telling you that he’s in need. When you know you’re about to be swamped with running everything, set your alarm with daily reminders to “remember” your man is still there. You can label them as “Text, ‘Hi’” or “Send ‘Thinking of you’” so he feels like he’s important to you. Duh, he is important to you, but feeling it is the keep part.
You can even take it a step further and use it as an “intimacy” reminder, because out of site of mind… You don’t necessarily have to get down at that time, but you’re laser focused, you may need to be reminded that that things exists and is wanted. #guilty
3. Take advantage of passing moments.
Mine and Love’s schedules don’t always mesh well. Even now we can go a couple of days without seeing each other even though we live in the same apartment. Being honest, I have yet to do this, but who’s to say that a very small window of time can’t be taken advantage of? Within a minute, you can send your man off with positive vibes and wish him well through his day or you can let him walk out the door after a passionate kiss. It’s completely up to you but don’t think you have to have hours of face to face time to show your man some attention.
What we’ve done is cut out our alone chill time. If he’s playing the playstation, what used to happen was he’d have his space and I’d have mine (with the kid, because duh) in the living room and Ava would periodically run back and forth. That didn’t help us. Now, if we get that same window of time, one of us will join the other for more intentional time together.
4. Be present in the moment.
You know that feeling when you’re focused and diligently working on this one thing and “someone” comes, wanting you to do something else with them? You go and do it because you know you should, but the entire time you’re thinking about everything you could be doing instead that would make you feel more productive than just sitting there. Yea, that feelings not a good look. Not only are you engulfing yourself in tons of negativity but you’re partner can possibly read and feel those negative vibes that you’re throwing off.
When you have the opportunity for one on one time, (and if you have a kid, we already know how rare that can) enjoy that time for what it is. It’s time that you can reconnect and bond with your significant other and it should be shown the same amount of respect - if not more - as everything else you spend your time on. When it’s just the two of you, don’t worry about the business; put the phone down and give your man that undivided attention. I promise you’ll live and your business will be right where you left it when you return.
5. Proof of thought.
Show your receipts! While being next to your man is ideal, sometimes it can’t happen. Out of town conferences, campaigns or just not being able to be next to him, you can still show your man some attention. Like I mentioned earlier, you can send a “thinking of you” text message, but you could also send him a surprise. The easiest route to boost his ego is to leave post-it notes around the house about how great his is but you could also send a pizza to his job for lunch. I know my man would love that. If you are able to be next to him at home, you could even treat him to his favorite home cooked meal. My man would like that too.
6. Keep communication open.
It was super easy for me to not tell Love what I was doing. Sad but true. I mean, I’d let him know where I was or when I would be busy but the ins and outs were things I didn’t concern him with. For one, I just didn’t want to take the energy and time to explain anything and on another note, I didn’t think that it mattered if he knew what was happening in detail. Well if you let it, it does matter.
Keeping communication open and bring them in not only reinforces that what you’re doing is actually work (and hopefully profitable work) but it also makes them feel included. And if they’re like my man, they’ll take it upon themselves to find strategies and ideas that might help your business out. Two heads are better than one afterall. Communicating also nips possible problems before they have a chance to grow. That's definitely a plus.
7. Show up in bed.
Because we’re all adults here. Now if you’ve done this right, you’ve scheduled bedtime happenings, you’ve set alarms to remind yourself that this is thing, the sexy thing you did during your pass by and your proof of thought has his blood racing and mind spinning. Now when you get together, listen to what he wants and keep communication open while being present in the moment. See what I did there? ;)
Jokes aside, I know how hard it can be to manage #allthethings and give your man the attention he needs and kind of deserves. Ultimately, when you feel you haven't connected with your man or haven’t seen him in awhile, you might want to pull out one of these tips on how to pay attention to your husband as an entrepreneur.
What do you think? Do you have problems paying attention to your significant other when you’re trying to grow your side hustle? Do you have any tips to share that help you not neglect your man? Let me know in the comments.