bestiesandbabies

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29 Things Moms Wish Others Understood

29 Things Moms Wish Others Understood

Going into motherhood is a totally new journey. It's a totally new life. It's a totally new everything (practically). Us moms have to start figuring out how to juggle all that we have to do, with a child. Don't let that mom be an entrepreneur or have multiple children, either. I feel like a magician sometimes. 

People without kids though, just don't understand. You may get a side eye from that old couple across the restaurant because you passed the kid a tablet at the dinner table. You may get a friend who is tired of you canceling plans because you're exhausted. And you may just get an attitude from people because you constantly show up late to their events.

But they don't understand. They don't understand you gave the child the tablet at the dinner table because you and your husband have been missing each other and just want to be able to connect with adult conversation without the hassle (and the babysitter was busy).

They don't understand that you had to cancel plans last week because little Henry got sick, this week little Emma got sick at school and threw up all over the play ground equipment and you had to leave work early to go get her even though your boss gave you hell to do it, and tonight you were stuck in traffic and ended up late to daycare to pick up the third child and had to pay that annoying fee and then got a frikkin flat tire! 

Oh and why was I late to the party? Well the babysitter was late, someone broke the vase on the table and I had to stop and clean it up because I didn't want little Susie to eat the pieces of a broken vase, and Jerome peed on the floor talking about "he missed the toilet", and for some reason my husband can never find his socks or that perfect shirt. Oh and my mother called, you know how that is.

So excuse me kid-less Brenda, but i'ma cancel plans if I feel like crap by the end of the day and be late to your appetizer party (like forreal girl you have no kids, serve a meal) and to Otis and Berta, pay attention to yo plate and not my table. Y'all can have a conversation, why can't I?

Listen, us moms have a lot on our plate. We just need understanding. So take a read of the 29 things moms wish others understood. We gathered other moms to help us out on this one. This is just the tip of the iceberg!

Motherhood can be a hard to understand if you aren't actually taking care of kids yourself.  There are assumptions that motherhood is easy, that moms aren't raising kids right and other heavy judgmental opinions given but not wanted.  Besties and Babies, Delaya and Julia, decided to clear the air with other mom bloggers and service providers to offer insight on some things they wish others could understand.

 

29 Things Moms Wish Others Understood

1. Motherhood and parenting is more than just tiny outfits and cute faces.  Everything about your pre-baby life will change and you won't be able to fully prepare because every pregnancy, child birth, child and family dynamic is different.  I mean, I died giving birth, woke up in the ICU and ended up having a throat surgery 2 months after as apart of my birth story.  How can you prepare for that?
-Delaya

2. I'm going to be late more than likely.
-Julia

3. Temper tantrums are normal, and parents shouldn't be shamed for their child having them.
-Chelsea Elliot of N.Chi's World

4. My child will ALWAYS come first.
-Julia

5. There is no manual to raising a child. Each situation is unique. Difference doesn't equate to wrong when it comes to parenting.
-Lashonda Marie of A Boss of Virtue

6. I'm not perfect, I'm not trying to be perfect,  and my daughter doesn't know any different so I'm fine ignoring what you think I "should be doing"
-Delaya

7. Sometimes me being a good mom means I have to be a bad friend. We can hangout, talk on the phone,and go places together, as long as my children are taken care of. There will be times when I have to cancel, or I can't return a phone call immediately. Charge it to my head and not my heart
-Chantal Maples of Growing Girls with Curls

8. When you have postpartum depression or anxiety, you can't just "get over it".
-Chelsea Elliot of N.Chi's World

9. I'm chasing around a toddler all day, so by the time I get to the end of the day, I am tired. My energy level is pretty much always low!
-Julia

10. Each delivery and baby are different. What my choice was will never be the same as yours. Don't compare them. Just support a new mom's choice or lack there of.
-Misty Eilar of Thifty Mama Life

11. I do all that I do out of love.  The chores, the favors, the hustle,  and everything else to be added to my list in the future is because I love my family and at the end of the day (the VERY end of the day...) it's all worth it.
-Delaya

12. I am more focused on raising self-sufficient adults than having everything neat and tidy right now. So, what might look like laziness or chaos to someone else is (usually) that way on purpose.
-Surya Chronister of The Crazy Busy Mama

13. My identity has not disappeared just because I've had a kid. I can still have fun and do things only for me and my happiness.
-Julia

14. I spoil my daughter intentionally.  She's mine and is intended to be the only one so I will enjoy my time with her as she grows.  I will giver her all I can and more.
-Delaya

15. As a mom, I can do anything, but I can't do EVERYTHING. I know moms are superhumans who get things done, but even superhumans need help sometimes.
-Chantal Maples of Growing Girls with Curls

16. I don't make decisions on what to feed my kid, how to dress her and how to discipline her by pulling ideas out of thin air.  There is a learned reasoning behind everything, so you should accept it, fall in line, respect my wishes and don't try to challenge me on it.
-Delaya

17. Babies get upset when people are in their faces (just like adults do). 
-Chelsea Elliot of N.Chi's World

18. You're [expected] to be happy, [but] sometimes, you're just not. And sometimes, it's [for a] clinical and debilitating [reason]. Too many mamas suffer in silence. There is help, you don't have to suffer. You're not alone mamas!
-Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D. of Mom and Mind

19. Everyone parents differently.
-Julia

20. Motherhood is work.  It's nothing you clock in for or get paid to do, it's just a lot of work.  Physical, mental and emotional work so don't try to discredit the work I do by saying it's easy.  Especially if you aren't living the life.
-Delaya

21. How much I wrestle with doing what I feel is right for my kids while also trying to maintain a sense of myself, which usually gets forgotten or lost.
-Brittany Schreurs of Challenges from a Teacher Mom

22. If you see my child with a pacifier in her mouth, it is not your place to say something. I know she has it. You think she bought it herself. I got it and don't care about your opinion unless I ask.
-Julia

23. Maternity leave is not a vacation.
-Chelsea Elliot of N.Chi's World

24. I'm more than my kid and my family.  I love them and will do anything for them, but I'm my own person and deserve to live in that from time to time.
-Delaya

25. My life isn't over because I have children. I can still get my degree, get my dream job, and support my children every step of the way. Having my girls early just means I get to spend more time with them.
-Chantal Maples of Growing Girls with Curls

26. If you see my kid with a tablet at a restaurant, I'm trying to have a convo and enjoy a silent dinner tonight. Who says I do it every night?
-Julia

27. I'm doing the best I can.
-Chelsea Elliot of N.Chi's World 

28. No child is the same.
-Julia

29. I'm tired all of the time.  I could be waking up from a complete night of sleep, but I'm waking up ready to take a nap.
-Delaya

Motherhood can be a hard to understand if you aren't actually taking care of kids yourself.  There are assumptions that motherhood is easy, that moms aren't raising kids right and other heavy judgmental opinions given but not wanted.  Besties and Babies, Delaya and Julia, decided to clear the air with other mom bloggers and service providers to offer insight on some things they wish others could understand.

So the next time you think about giving a mom the side eye, have a little understanding because you have no idea what their day was like or all that they are trying to juggle. Instead, why don't you try giving some kind words like "I see you doing the d*mn thing" or "your kids are so well behaved" or "I like how you did your daughter's hair". Hell, tell the mom you love her outfit or she looks beautiful. Guarantee it will make her day. 

What do you wish other people understood about motherhood? (or fatherhood?)

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