4 Reasons Why I Don't Want to Pierce my Daughter's Ears
My daughter. A beautiful baby girl. A girl without pierced ears.
Much like wearing the color pink is synonymous with being a girl, so is having your ears pierced. Whether it be "cultural" or for vanities sake, piercing your daughters ears has become more of an expectation.
A few weeks after Ava was born, one of my mother-in-laws asked if we planned to get her ears pierced.
Cringe, right? You think "mother-in-law judgement" is about to come if I don't answer this properly. Luckily, my in-laws are dope and that wasn't the case here. Mother-in law just wanted to spend a little bit of money on the kid and get her some jewelry.
While answering the question, pierced ears wasn't a topic that Love and I had talked about yet but we agreed right there on the spot. It was something we weren't looking to do because it held no actual point. Getting Ava's ears pierced was left at that and my mother-in-law thought purchasing a tennis bracelet would be a good alternative.
A couple of months roll by and Love brings up getting Ava's ears pierced. I was confused. I mean we've already decided this wasn't happening, what changed? Well, apparently, the kid was mistaken to be a boy in some of her pictures and he thought piercing her ears was the natural solution.
I reminded him that I didn't want it done but that he was her father and had a right to the decision. It wouldn't have killed her if she got them done, so I looked up tattoo parlors that would pierce an infants ears but that's as far as that went. Love brought it up about three more times. I promise I had the full-on half intention of getting it done, but with my busy schedule and being a mom for the first time and not wanting it to happen, it just didn't.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with piercing your kids ears at a young age. It's your kid. As long as they're taken care of, you can do whatever you want.
I actually had my ears pierced at a young age and I don't remember my experience at all. For all I know, I came out the womb with pierced ears. I did watch my younger cousin get her ears pierced, though. I was about 9 or 10, making her about 4 years old. We ended up at a Claire's in the mall with my oldest sister. As far as I remember, she was fine.
Now, if I had actual intentions of getting my baby's ears pierced, I would knock that out as early as possible. I'd ask her pediatrician the earliest and safest age we could get that out of the way and we'd get it handled.
I think there's a benefit in getting it when she won't be able to remember her experienced, whether it be good or bad. Sure, it's putting your baby through a little pain but it's quick and they won't remember it all. She also wouldn't be aware of the physical earring in her ear or want to play with it, so I won't have fear her getting it infected. From what I've heard and researched, the problematic part of the piercing is when you have to hold the kid still for the alignment of the second piercing.
But even though getting your babies ears pierced is considered a norm, it isn't for me. Again, I'm perfectly fine with you piercing your child's ear, it just isn't what I want and here's why.
4 Reasons Why My Daughter's Ears Aren't Pierced
1. It's not my right.
Yes, I make decisions for my underage child, but these are primarily for her health. Whether she needs a shot or a special lotion to take care of her skin, that's me being a mother and doing my job. An ear piercing is not held on the same level. It's not a matter of life or death. To a degree, piercing's are permanent and they puncture the skin. I don't think it's my right to permanently deface my daughter's body, especially if I don't actually know it will be something she'll be in to when she gets older. For all I know, she could be against that concept altogether when she's grown but I would've already messed that up for her because of something I wanted.
2. It's not necessary.
There is absolutely no benefit to your life if you get your ears pierce and are wearing earrings. It is completely for vanities sake. They're there to enhance an look. It doesn't make you smarter, more athletic, nothing. They're just there, forgotten about until you need to change your earrings.
3. I'm lazy.
When you get your ears pierced, if you don't take of them, they can be infected. I don't know about you but I'm already struggling taking care of the things I need to in my life. What I don't need, is to add another task to my list. What I don't need, is to forget to rotate the piercings and have her ears swell up and droop like an elephants'. If a piercing is what she wants, she will be the one with the responsibility and taking care of her ears.
4. I Don't Conform to Society.
If you're new here, I should tell you that I have an issue with putting my baby girl in box. I will never intentionally fall to societal norms and do things just because my baby has a vagina in between her legs. She won't wear just only pink and she will play with hot wheels. With that being said, it's expected for girls to have earrings. That's how this started as a controversial motherhood topic in the first place. I won't be piercing my daughters ears because girl's are supposed to get their ears pierced.
I had the intentions of arguing that having your ears pierced isn't a cultural thing, but in a way it is. It can be seen as a right of passage and I'd like Ava to experience that for her own.
When she turns 8, I'll give her the choice to get her ears pierced. I think 8. I'm still working the appropriate age out. When she hits the age I set, can take care of her piercing, and actually wants one, we will get them done. We will make a fun mommy and daughter day about it and it will be a memorable one for her and for me.
What about you? How do you feel about this? Did you/would you get your daughters ears pierced at a young age or at all? What was your experience like? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Let me know in the comments below.