9 Things I've Learned from Beyonce About Being a Working Mom
Julia and I are both working moms and to speak for myself, it's kinda hard.
Kinda very hard.
Don't get me wrong. If I had kids, it's something I've always seen myself doing. I knew I wouldn't like my kid that much to want to stay home with them 24/7. Sounds harsh but real talk that's what I always said during face-to-face conversations too so I'm being truthful.
Up until I graduate college, I was raised with a lot of kids in my home because of my mother's in home daycare. It was nice and fun but it taught me from an early age that a kid plus myself plus all day interaction wasn't something for me. If that's your life, good for you! But it's just not something I could see me doing.
But with being an outside-of-the-house working mom, there are of course drawbacks. Not making a list, I'll say the hardest part of not being around the child all day is missing their milestones. Around the time Ava was showing signs of wanting to get up and walk, I got hit in my feels. Her being my only kid and my being new to the mom game, of course I wanted to see her take her first steps but the reality of it was I probably wouldn't be.
Aside from your own (possible) guilt, you have media and other judgmental moms giving their opinions on how they feel about you being a working mom. Ya know, despite you not asking for it. Man, it's even worse being in the public eye.
I want to make it very clear that I do not stan for Beyonce. I am not a member of the hive, my wig has never been snatched and my edges are very well in tact. I do, however, acknowledge greatness when it's right in front of me.
Now, not knowing any stats, Queen Bey has arguably (barely) created the most iconic entertainment career of the present day. She's orchestrated a very loyal - kinda scary - following and manages to push her creativity and the exceptions of a musical artist with each release of a project and album.
Beyond her meticulous and influential career, Bey is also a mother, but you ain't dumb. You knew that. Not living under a rock myself, I've of course witnessed the documentation of her motherhood, marriage and life. By watching, I couldn't help but pick up a few lessons from how the queen chooses to operate.
7 Things I've Learned from Beyonce About Being a Working Mom
1. Let People Know Only What You Want Them To When You Want Them To.
Beyonce has always been a very private person. She keeps her business out of the lime light as much as possible and she makes her moves quietly. Her instagram is more of a curated gallery of her life after the moments happen rather than a play by play into her daily life. She will let you speculate all day, every day, but you won't truly know until she's ready for you to know. From her marriage to Jay-Z, to the announcement of her pregnancies to her past few album releases; you will know only when it's time for you to know, and not a moment sooner.
Sometimes we talk too much. We're in a circle with our group of girls - in space that you think is safe - and you spill all your tea. Tea that can be put on the stands and judged by your piers later. If you have all the intentions to move mountains at your job but you know it will mean later shifts and receiving the unwanted side eye from your circle of "friends," then don't tell them. They can't give their opinion on what they don't know. Operate in silence, drop your monumental news when you succeed and then go out for drinks and celebrate.
2. Don't Let the Haters Phase You.
Publicly at least. How many times have you seen Bey clap back to the hundreds of thousands of comments about her not doing what a mom should do? I'll wait. Not once has she miss-stepped and interacted with these trolls.
No matter what you do, if you're sharing your tea, people will have their opinions about it. Thats unavoidable. But if someone says something that doesn't sit right with you and you know it was purely just to get a reaction out of you, don't give one. Don't feed into the bull and give them the satisfaction. When you're behind closed doors, go ahead and rant and rave, but in public, keep your composure. Bonus points if you know how to keep your composure and come up with a witty rebuttal. I respect you for that.
3. Do Things That Are Fulfilling.
Clearly Bey has the money for it and part of it is her job but she ain't out her working herself to death. She is living. She is visiting different countries (and hopefully learning about them). Going to galleries and seeing notorious pieces of art. She's at shows and events, in hotels and running around in forests. She looks happy.
Speaking for myself, I know I won't be in Paris anytime soon... ...I mean unless you want to treat me?... No?... Okay. So I won't be in Paris anytime soon to check out the Mona Lisa, but that doesn't mean I don't have the opportunity to learn about anything in my own back yard. There are tons of museums and galleries to go to; you can even go to a library. Don't get caught up in work so much that you aren't feeding your soul.
4. Do What's Best for You and Your Family.
I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit...perplexed...when Bey announced she was pregnant with twins after it was announced that she'd be performing at the 2017 Coachella concert. Had it of been at the beginning of her pregnancy, maybe, she's done that before. But she was at the end of her term, carrying and delivering twins which is risky for anyone and she's had a few issues with previous pregnancies already. I wasn't knocking her for it but I personally couldn't see how that was an actual option.
Well, it ended up not being an option and she pulled out the show. She pulled out of a very large (high hundred thousands? couple million? ) show, where she was headlining, for a show where many people only bought the tickets because of her. (Not saying the show wouldn't have sold out on it's own but I know some of the ticket purchases weren't the Coachella-going-type and only bought tickets to see Beyonce.) With a commitment in place and publicly advertised, Bey sat herself right on down and said "No, this is going to work for and mine but have a nice day."
She didn't let the demand of her job control her. She understood that it wasn't more important than the health of her and her unborn babies. Sometimes, you will have to make those calls and accept those consequences but that's quite alright.
5. Get a Good Team.
Now I know Beyonce's credit as a hardworking mother is downplayed because she has a team of people to help her. I'm even going to put my bestest on blast. When I came up with this article, even Julia said it: she has nanny's and people to help her. My thoughts are, "So?!" Yes, she has afforded herself the lifestyle to have people work for her and help care for her kids...around the clock...but again, "So?!" Do you not have babysitters that help you when you live your life? Do you not have tools and organizational systems that help you flourish in your motherhood? Well okay then.
Back to the topic at hand, yes, Beyonce has a lot of people around her to help but every mom needs that, especially working moms. Being at the office for at least 8 hours, you can't leave the kid alone. It's illegal and that definitely makes you a bad parent. Having a good team in place gives you confidence that you're kid is taken care of and gives you one less thing to worry about. Who doesn't want one less thing to worry about?
6. It's Okay to Work Just as Hard at Your Job Before You Became a Mom
Guilt is a crazy little thing. It'll have you thinking that you're an unfit parent because you had to work a few extra hours this week to get something done at work. If you're an ambitious individual, stay that way. Don't think that just because you have offspring now, you have to dial back your efforts. If anything, you should keep it consistent and teach your kid how to be a boss like you.
I mean, Yonce was twirling on 'em while carrying and didn't miss a beat after she delivered Blue. Kid in tow, she continued to work and werk.
7. Don't Apologize.
Do you see Bey out here explaining her decisions? Trying to help people understand why she did what she did with her children? No, you don't. And as a an adult, you shouldn't either.
8. Set Yourself up to Have the Mom Life You Want.
I won't disregard the face that this comes easier with money but one of the best traits mother's possess is making due with what we have. From the outside, I think it's clear that Bey wants her kids to have a worldly experience as she offers them things that she probably couldn't do when she was their age.
I've learned that I shouldn't be working just because I have to adult and pay bills. I work because of that but in the meantime, I'll also be working to have part time days, the ability to control my own schedule and the chance to spend quality and influential time with my kid.
9. Make Time for the Kid.
Now, I don't know how much alone time Blue, the twins and Bey get to spend with each other, but through her instagram feed, it looks like they enjoy their family lives. Bey doesn't work to the point where she doesn't allow herself to spend time with kids.
You can work to provide the best for your family, but what is it for if you aren't there to enjoy it with them?
In the end, now with 3 children, even Beyonce Knowles isn't a stranger to the unwarranted advice and comments of others but as far as we know, Bey don't care about what you have to say. She is confidently living her life and in her decision to remain a working mom.
There is nothing wrong with this decision and if it's what you really and truly want then you should do it. You be that diva, hustle and do what it is that keeps you and your family happy.
So, what about you BAB? Is there a parenting lesson that you've learned from a celebrity or public figure? Tell me in the comment section below!