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50 Questions You Can Ask Instead of "How's the Baby?"

50 Questions You Can Ask Instead of "How's the Baby?"

BABS, picture this.

You walk into work, tired from your child keeping you up at night, but ready and willing to be in the office.  You make eye contact with a co-worker while pouring your much-needed cup of coffee.  They fix their mouth to engage with you, only to start off with, “How’s the baby?”

Here’s another one.

It’s time for your night out on the town and you’re meeting up with a group of friends to enjoy yourself (because you’re ready and didn’t want to give an excuse this time).  You arrive, walk up to your party and before you can get your “hello’s” and “hey’s” in, the greeting you’re bombarded with is, “How’s the baby?”

And to quote DJ Khaled himself, here’s another one.

You’re minding your own business on Facebook and aimlessly scrolling up and down your timeline, hoping something new will pop up for your entertainment when you get a message from an old acquaintance.  Their message?  “Hey, hope you’re well.  How’s the baby?”

Okay, keeping it one hundred, that last one was a stretch and has never happened to me, but you get the idea of where this is going.  Right?

Now, once you get pregnant, it is a fact that you no longer matter mom.  The baby’s well-being comes first; they are wanted and liked more than you are and it will be like that until their cuteness wares off.  I’ve come to accept that bit of knowledge already.

What is hard for me to accept is the blatant disrespect of my general existence as an individual when the child is no where around me.  For the past year, my initial greetings with anyone has started off with, “How’s the baby?” and it has become one of the most annoying questions of my life.

I know BAB, that sounds weird, right?  How can people caring for your child annoy you?

Well the act of caring for her doesn’t annoy me.  By all means, love the child.  Please.

What's annoying is needing to give daily updates of the kid. The kid, who hasn’t actually changed in the last 24 hours, when you originally asked about her. 

What’s annoying is how you assume that I want to spend my free time away from her, talking about her.  I’m not that kind of mom.

What’s annoying is you disregarding that I'm more than just her mom.  Yes, I love her and take care of her, but my life consists of more than her.  It's like I’m physically standing right in front of you, but you metaphorically skirt around me to focus on someone else.

It’s been a little over a year of me dealing with this annoying question of, “How’s the baby?”

I’ve gone from enthusiastically explaining how she was, to casual reporting and now I just respond with a quick, “She’s fine,” and walk away.

But one day, while sifting through my annoyance, I thought of the many ways I could be greeted and how there are so many other questions you can ask a mom, instead of just “How’s the baby?”   So, I decided to pull Julia in and get some other moms together from across the web to come up with a list of questions that someone can ask you instead of, “How’s the baby?”

Sometimes it's hard for others to separate a mom from her mom life and out of habit, always ask about the baby.  When you want to have a conversation and don't know what to say to a mom, try one of these 50 questions that you can ask instead of asking, "How's the Baby?"

50 Questions Someone Can Ask Instead of "How's the baby?"

1. How are you?
-Julia/Delaya

2. Want some food?
-Julia

3. What do you plan to this weekend?
-Delaya

4. Do you have the time?
-Julia

5. Can I do something for you?
-Chelsea Elliot of N. Chi's World

6. How about them Lakers/Dodgers/Raiders?
-Delaya

7. When was your last vacation?
-Julia

8. Do you want me to babysit?
-Delaya

9. What church do you go to?
-Julia

10. When are you going to release another blog post?  The last one was awesome!
-Keara Elam of Modern Day Black Mama

11. Do you know [insert literally any name here]?
-Julia

12. Have you tried that restaurant around the corner?
-Delaya

13. Can I do your laundry/wash dishes/clean your house for you?
-Delaya

14. What are you going to do with your time off?
-Julia

15. Did you get new yoga pants?
-Chantal Maples of Growing Girls with Curls

16. How's life?
-Julia

17. Would you like a massage?
Delaya

18. Do you think you'll put her/him [the kid] in daycare?
-Shelby Stover of Fit as a Mama Bear

19. Do you have a cold or allergies?
-Julia

20. What do you want from Starbucks/Dunkin Donuts/McDonalds [Anywhere you know you shouldn't but #Kanyeshrug]?
-Chryssy Joski of Well Rounded Mom

21. How's your family?
-Delaya

22. What are you watching these days?
-Julia

23. How did that presentation turn out?
-Delaya

24. What hair products do you use?
-Julia

25. Have you ever wondered why hamsters sometimes eat their young?
-Chryssy Joski of Well Rounded Mom

Sometimes it's hard for others to separate a mom from her mom life and out of habit, always ask about the baby.  When you want to have a conversation and don't know what to say to a mom, try one of these 50 questions that you can ask instead of asking, "How's the Baby?"

26. Are you going to play the lotto?
-Delaya

27. Where do you get your nails done?
-Julia

28. I like your shoes. Where did you get them?
-Delaya

29. How’s the job?
-Julia

30. How's your body feeling?
-Shelby Stover of Fit as a Mama Bear

31. How’d you sleep?
-Julia

32. Have you tried this new shampoo?
-Delaya

33. Are those new glasses?
-Julia

34. Girl, did you lose weight?!
-Delaya

35. Is she/he not sleeping?
-Jessica Foley of A Modern Mom's Life

36. Have you heard what [insert name] did?!
-Delaya

37. Is it hot outside?
-Julia

38. I like your hair.  How did you get it like that?
-Delaya

39. Who does your hair?
-Julia

40. Why do you smell like coconuts and vanilla?
-Chantal Maples of Growing Girls with Curls

41. How did you get a day without the child?
-Julia

42. How do you manage it all?
-Delaya

43. Are you going to try for a boy [if you have a girl]/girl [if you have a boy]?
-Jessica Foley of A Modern Mom's Life

44. Is that [what you're eating/using] any good?
-Delaya

45. How's your uterus?
-Michelle Vroom of Life as a Vroom

46. I thought about you when I read/saw [insert media], have you seen it? Thoughts?
-Delaya

47. How’s school coming along?
-Julia

48. Do you want to go on a shopping spree? [then proceed to take me on a shopping spree.]
-Delaya

49. When was the last time you did something for yourself?
-Delaya

50.Did you eat yet?
-Julia

There you have it. 50 questions that you can ask that will make you a little more interested in the mom instead of just the baby. I know, kids are cute and a lot of people are concerned with them, but we are not ONLY our kids.

We as moms still have feelings, our own brain, worries, favorite things, and our own separate moments. Don't kill our vibes by acting as though we are nothing without a child in toe. We are still just as interesting as before if not more!

Did we miss any possible questions? What is something another person can ask you besides "How's the baby?"

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