5 Things a Working Mom Should Let Go Of
Julia: Becoming a mom really changes a person. I mean, you probably already knew that, but it goes down to even the simplest of things. You were totally one way when you were single, become another way when you get married, and transform again when you add motherhood to your belt.
Delaya: No matter how many times you may tell yourself that things will be the same, they won't be. You'll talk a good game like, "I can still do everything, no problem!" While you may actually still have to do everything (that's to be discussed at a later date), you more than likely (definitely) won't be going at it the way you envisioned it.
Julia: The changes aren't all bad though. You can still be you, but just with some tweaks. And we are here to tell you that that is completely ok! In fact, embracing change down to its smallest point, does a person some good.
Delaya: It saves your sanity in all honesty. The sooner you can accept that you don't need to do it all at once, the better off you and your family will be.
Julia: But lets not get too ahead of ourselves. Change isn't easy and sometimes we don't know what there is to change. When you first have a baby, you want to stick with the same routine, lifestyle, and goals as you did before. And let me tell you, burn out is inevitable. Come on! Get real! You have just produced an although cute, but still highly demanding human who kicked you down from being number 1, to number 2 (no pun intended).
Delaya: It's not just burn out though. When you try to do #allthethings yourself, something suffers. Or someone suffers. We only have 24 hours in a day and at least a quarter of that time is spent sleeping. ...If you're lucky.
The more you juggle, the less time you may be spending with your family. We don't need to tell you how time flies. We actually can't tell you because we made it a BAB rule to stop telling other mom's about how time just happens to fly by so quickly...
Julia: But it's all good MAMA, you have your Besties here to tell you the 5 things a working mom should let go of so you can stop driving yourself crazy. And if you're pregnant you can keep yourself from going crazy from our lessons learned.
1. The idea of perfection
No lie, I often envision myself in that iconic Superwoman pose; hands firmly on hips with a wide stance and my hair blowing in the wind. That's how I feel when I completely own a day and make it my little B. While getting everything on my long to-do list done would be dope, the actuality of it happening the way it needs to, is slim to none. In motherhood, there is no perfection. At all. Let it go. Now.
2. Being on time!
This was really big for me, especially since my people get a bad rap for always being late. I'm the girl that is always early or right on time. Being on time to me is so important and that is just someone I was, a stickler for time, and it use to annoy me when people were late. But, after having Jayla, I started to feel overwhelmed trying to do everything on time. Besties, in case you didn't know, do not care about your clock or where you have to be. Now, if you are meeting with some super head honcho, obviously being on time is important and plans should be in place early to make that happen. However, since your sanity is at play here and everyone knows how children are, relax. You'll get there when you get there. I've embraced the fact that if I'm bringing Jay, I'm more than likely going to be late. Half the time it doesn't matter how early I start the process in getting ready. The girl is slow and I have learned to relax. Besides she comes first over anything so I don't care.
You learn to let go of logical thinking. Kids are crazy and they can do the craziest things. As they find their place in the world, they will do a lot of things of that don't make sense. While being a tactical and strategic person, this may cause you to raise an eye brow. It's okay, just let it be.
Last week, I was giving Ava a bath and like usual, I let her play in the water a bit first before I washed her up. (It's my hope that the water will tire her out so much that she'll just knock out once her PJ's are on. It hasn't happened yet.) Well I'm not sure why, but Ava just decided that she was done with the water. She wanted out. I tried to force her to sit back in the tub but she wasn't having it. I ended up washing her up, soap, wet body and all, in my arms. Perfectly good bath water and I'm holding this naked little girl, hoping she doesn't pee on me...again.
4. Fear of letting someone else watch your child
Now I talked about this point in my past blog post, 7 Tips on How to Juggle School and Homework as a Mom, and it totally applies to working moms as well. I am not saying let anybody and everybody watch your kid. You must do your due diligence and find the proper care for your little ones. I am blessed to have my family members readily available, but lately I have been running into some snags in the plan. Just recently, I had a field trip and work and a sister (my babysitter) who had a job interview. So I had to start going through a list of people I trust to watch Jayla for five hours while I make my money. If I have a fear of letting others watch her, I would never be able to leave her side and my career goals would never be reached. For a career woman, work needs to be a priority as well, and if you are to be a boss mom, you are going to have to let other people tend to your child while you get work done.
5. Week Day Happy Hour
Being a non-drinker, this isn't something that I've had to give up, but I know there will be moms out there who will have to make that sacrifice. While all you may want to do is have a bajillion drinks after dealing with horrible bosses and bipolar children, the time just may not work out for you. If you don't have a late meeting, you'll have to go pick up the child; either way, you're busy during Happy Hour's so it's time to let it go...unless your sitter is cool!
There you have it. While being a working mom comes with it's own benefits, it definitely comes with its own hassles, some of which you can control yourself. A lot of which you can control yourself if you pay attention and just learn to let go.