Confessions of an Impatient Mother
Hi Besties! My name is Julia Anderson and I struggle with impatience. I first realized I really had no patience with my child when I noticed (and my grandmother confirmed) that I had turned into a yeller. Yes, I raise my voice at my child and after I'm done I feel slightly guilty. Now, I know I am not the only mother out there that struggles with having good patience. So I am here to share my honest story so that my Besties do not feel alone.
I've always had little patience. Even the smallest of things can get me frazzled and annoyed. I think it's really bad, in my opinion, when you run low on patience with a baby. Well technically she is a toddler, but half the time I think she doesn't speak English. I recently shared Jayla's New Antics and if you read it (because I know you did), you can slightly understand why my patience runs low and thin.
Let me paint a few pictures so you can understand a little bit better.
Jayla and I are in the thick of potty training, and have been for a little minute now. When she started peeing on the potty just fine and pooping in it without a freak-out, I knew she knew what she was doing. One night she is running around the room in her underwear, stopping to go to the potty whenever she needed to. She had just sat to pee and then gets up, squats next to the potty, and takes a sh*t on the floor. I was a bit livid to say the least. Here she was, on the potty. And she deliberately gets up and poops on the carpet.!? I couldn't believe it!! I'll definitely admit I yelled. Patient mothers may say "well she's only two years old. She's gong to have accidents". Screw that says I the impatient mother, you are no animal child, do not sh*t on my floor!
Recently Jayla went to the Dentist and in my opinion acted out even though nothing was happening. I understood she was scared, but I was slightly disappointed. Anywho, the dentist gave Jayla bubbles which were surprisingly easy for her to open. I kept telling her no bubbles in the house after she had spilled the liquid all over the table two times. I put the bubbles where I thought she wouldn't get them. Turn away for one second and she has opened the bubbles and is dumping them all over my bed. Why? because she doesn't realize tipping a bottle of open liquid on its side causes it to spill everywhere. But I did explain it to her earlier and she saw it when it dumped all over my table (shoulder shrug) Needless to say, she was put on timeout ASAP and I had to do a load of late night laundry.
I am in school which means papers, research, and homework. I tend to open my books and homework when I have spent time with Jayla or when she is paying me no attention. It never fails that when I open up my homework when she is not paying me any attention she crawls all over me. Closing my books and one time even touching the laptop and making it close all of my windows I had open for a research paper. I definitely yelled here too! Come on! The research paper though?!?! At this moment patience was thin and I sent her straight upstairs to her great grandmother to save her from my sheer and utter annoyance.
In all three of these situations I guess I could have seen that she is a toddler and exploring is what they do. Curiosity is a part of childhood blah blah blah. Certain things no matter how curious they get still annoy me to no end. And curiosity is no excuse for bad behavior. My impatience tends to take over and I can't help my emotions. It is mentally and physically frustrating when your child doesn't listen and you already feel like life is drowning you and you're only asking for a few moments of piece or focus and the child refuses to give it to you. Usually Jayla not listening means more for me to clean up, an ouchy I need to fix, and a late night trying to focus on things I tried to do earlier in the day.
I should definitely practice more patience, and overtime I have gotten better (I can actually see that now). I have always been able to admit when I am wrong and I apologize to my Mini Me when I go a little overboard. As she gets older, I stop and take a breathe, talk to her a little more, and even try to see things through her eyes. No parent is perfect and their is no book on how to parent perfectly. Even if there was, every child is different and that book wouldn't work on them.
We are all just doing this incredibly hard and rewarding job the best way we know how and are going to make mistakes along the way. So Mama, you are not alone. In fact, let's chat in the comments below.