The Perfect Husband
You heard the buzz about "The Perfect Wife Challenge", and if you didn't, be sure to read all about it here. Now it's time for us to describe our "Perfect Husband".
Trust me, Delaya and I have no expectations of our men to do the things we are about to outline or even change magically into this person. Some of the traits they may actually possess, but we want more! (lol) We just think it's only right that we make our visions known just as they did. Maybe they'll read this post and take a few pointers (wink wink).
The perfect husband. What a dream. I have a few visions of the perfect husband, but I am a realistic person. I know a perfect person doesn't exist and never will. But it's ok for a girl to dream right?
First, my perfect husband is a cleanly man. Not saying my husband doesn't clean, but I have a slight OCD issue so everything has a place and everything should go in its place. Boy does this not happen! I feel like I am constantly (and I am) picking up after my husband and child and the perfect husband would have nothing for me to pick up.
Second, my perfect husband would take initiative and not wait for me to ask him what I need him to do. For example, when laundry needs to be done he would separate the clothes. Or if we need something for the house, my husband will just go get it without me having to see it has run out first. And for a little added bonus, he would call me before coming home to see if there is an extra store run that would need to be made since he is already out and can just stop at the store.
Third, my perfect husband would give me foot rubs without me having to ask and would see if I was stressed and just take Jayla for the day, away. Shoot or he can send me away to a beautiful spa to relax without any calls of "what do I do if..." The perfect husband can take care of the children without me worrying about them and can keep them on schedule.
Fourth, the perfect husband has a plan of where he wants to go and is confident in the things that he does. I do not dominate, but compliment. He supports my dreams and goals and wants me to stand out because he is not insecure of a strong woman. He's a great dresser and he doesn't mind shopping.
Fifth, my perfect husband is funny and makes me laugh and smile. Seeing him enter the room fills me with butterflies. He takes time out to treat me like a queen, and I can feel he always puts me first. Romance is in the air and he definitely knows how to make those grand gestures at the right moments.
My perfect husband:
- Gives me lots of cuddles and hugs and kisses and makes me feel special and appreciated. I’m an affectionate person and like moderate displays of affection. I’d like to see his love. He’d pamper me and spoil me on occasion. I’d feel completely uncomfortable about it but it would happen. He’d openly broadcast his love for me. He wouldn’t wait until I’m not there to show me how much he cares.
- Embraces my silly and makes me feel comfortable when I show my silliness. I do a lot of random things that don’t make sense, like dance really hard with no music. I mean I’m on beat, but you wouldn’t know that. I need him to be able to laugh at it and not get embarrassed. He doesn’t have to join in with me, just don’t kill my vibes.
- Encourages me to do my best and be my best and pushes me past my comfort zones. I stay in what I know and risk very little. My perfect husband has to be able to see beyond the right now and can push me forward. He knows when I need tough love but knows when I need soft words too. He knows that I am great and I have no limits other than the ones I put on myself.
- Knows that I’m not about the stereotypical gender roles. I have to work. I need more than just cleaning and cooking. This is a partnership. While I will definitely respect your role as the head and leading our family, my voice and opinion has to have weight. While I will be here to comfort and take care of him, his ego as a “man” can’t be so closeminded that he can’t accept any help from me, monetary, emotionally, physically, whatever.
- Has to be funny. I love to laugh and I need that. He shouldn’t be a cornball or do extra because that will annoy me.
- Tries new things with me so we can create lasting memories with each other.
- Needs an honor code. What’s that saying? If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything?... He needs positive values to uphold like compassion and generosity.
- Takes care of things. He knows what he has to do and will handle it. I don’t have to worry about us slipping into awful circumstances. I will worry about it but I don’t have to because I know he won’t let that happen. My man needs to be firm in his abilities and not waver when hardships come our way. I am a mental mess and I need a rock that I can hold onto.
- Needs pride. A little cockiness if you will too. That’s so sexy to me. But there needs to be reason that warrants his pride and ego. Don’t be cocky for absolutely no reason because that’s just annoying. He needs good hygiene. Your clothing needs to exude that bit of cockiness. As a designer, I appreciate a good dresser and that extra effort when the time calls for it. I want him to have fun getting dressed.
- Protects me. I need to feel spiritually, physically and mentally safe. He has to be able to protect me in all three matters. If my faith waivers he has to be able to guide me back to God. If I’m physically threatened in any way, he has to stand up for me and preferably be able to handle it if necessary. If I am down on myself, he has to be able to bring me up. I need all kinds of support.
- Does things without being asked. Yes, he's psychic! I don’t have to ask him for help with anything because he’s already paying attention and knows. He’ll pick up my slack. If he sees a mess, he’ll clean it right up. He'll take the child when he see's I'm burnt out. If that’s asking too much, he’ll at least throw his own trash away and put his clothes in the dirty clothes hamper. Maybe even cook a meal once a month.
- He won’t cheat on me. He won’t lie to me. He understands that he can and will be trusted 100% and knows the actual value of what that means.
- He understands that I have a life of my own (hahaha) and is secure enough with himself that he doesn’t question anything whenever I go out without him. Ya know, all two times of the year.
- Is woke and knows the value of education and educating himself.
- Will raise our child to be a free thinking, independent and confident person that has every opportunity to be something great in life but knows her lessons will have to come in a different form because of her race and gender. She will not be conformed to a pink box.
- My perfect husband will take me to New York and Paris Fashion Week. :)
No lie, I kind of did describe Love himself. Don’t get me wrong, by no means is he perfect. I could definitely work with more affection or lending a helping hand with housework. But in the grand scheme of life, he'll do.
Growing up, you may have thought how you’d meet your future husband and what they would be like. One of my main points was that he had to be my friend for any of this to work and that’s exactly what I got.
Now, how would you describe your perfect husband? Let us know in the comments below! We may have missed something on our list...