5 Ways to Make Your Man a Priority
Before The Perfect Wife Challenge, I had no idea just how much in jeopardy my relationship was.
After Ava was born, taking care of her became my main priority, which is understandable. I’d come home from work and spend all of my time with her until she fell asleep and then I would proceed to work on my side hustles through the night.
Housework was regularly pushed aside and so was Love. But instead of pressing the issue of how unsatisfied he was, he stepped back because he understood what I am trying to do for myself and our family.
Once I read his list from The Perfect Wife Challenge, I realized just how much I’ve dropped the ball in making him a priority and ultimately making our relationship a priority. I was shook.
Looking back at these past couple of months - and some months beyond that if I’m keeping it one hundred – I don’t know how I let his happiness slip so much. At the start of our relationship, I used to bend over backwards to meet his needs but I guess I just got too comfortable.
There are clearly benefits when you decided to make your man a priority (and vice versa).
1. Your relationship stays consistently strong.
When someone’s needs aren’t met, it’s easy to draw up ill feelings towards the other person, like resentment. Resentment is crippling to a relationship and can tear you apart if left for too long.
If you continue to make your man a priority, it makes it easy for you to grow with each other and continue to strengthen that bond.
2. The children how to treat their future partner.
Your kids are looking at your relationship as the number one example to emulate when they get older. They should learn to value their partner and their happiness in order to keep their relationship going. They need to know that they themselves should be valued and have their needs met as well.
3. Your happiness.
When he’s taken care of and happy, that puts him in better spirits and mindset (hopefully) for him to make you the priority you deserve to be. It becomes a win-win.
But, jumping into my new found mom-dom and taking care of all (most) of my other responsibilities made it super easy to forget about Love. And because I didn’t think to make my man a priority, we almost ended up down a dark path.
Bestie, I want you to learn from my mistake. It may be hard, but it’s time to put in that extra effort. If you’re not sure where to begin, don’t worry.
Here’s a few tips on how to make your main a priority.
1. Ask him what he wants.
Plain and simple. No better way to know what his needs are then for him to tell you directly. Regularly update yourself in what he wants and needs from you. Don’t get too comfortable and assume you know. That’s where I went wrong.
2. Do what he requests.
It’s one thing to ask what he expects from you, it’s another thing to actually do it. Believe me, I know. By actually doing some of the things he’s asked for, you let him know that you heard him and that his happiness is actually important to you.
3. Carve out time for him.
Believe me, I know it’s hard to find down time when you’re trying to be Super Mom but that’s why you should specifically designate time for him. Like how you schedule the best time to grocery shop, you should schedule the best time to spend with him where he has your undivided attention.
4. Do something he likes with him.
Shh. It’s not about you, it’s about him. Put you big girl panties on and prepare that fake smile and get to it. It’ll make him feel a little special that you’re doing something everyone knows you don’t like.
5. Let him go out with the guys, hassle free.
This one is directed at all of our control freak besties. No judgement, but if you can’t/don’t want to spend the time with him, let him have a free night out with the guys. Don’t check in or stroll up on him. Let him live a bit. He’ll get his kicks and giggles and appreciate the effort it took you to not call a thousand and two times. Hopefully.
As we continue through this month and The Perfect Wife Challenge, I’m grateful that this issue of Love feeling neglected has been raised before it got too bad.
And even though I’ve been saying “make your man a priority” through this post, it’s really a double edged sword. The challenge has required Love and I to talk about his needs and my needs and we have both stepped up our game to make them happen.
Julia and I have made it through half of the month which means we’ve made it through half of the challenge! I’m going to stroke our egos here and give us both a round of applause because the struggle has been real!
If you want to know our results and how we end the challenge, you have to sign up to BAB’s Truth, our weekly newsletter. You’ll never miss a thing when you become our Bestie fo’ life!
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